While connection with kindred spirits is important (as set out in point 1 above) a connection with oneself is first and foremost paramount. They can also richly reward those who see past the difficult moments to the generous heart behind them. Has anyone ever told you youre too intense? But you are who you are and when someone gets to experience a deep conversation with you, they get much more out of it than useless small-talk. Noting the temperature and sensation of drinking a hot cup of coffee. Lachlan Brown It means that you can access areas that those with a soft personality do not have. 29. You dont want to fill it up with junk food (junk food is called that for a reason- its junk!!). You are a reflection of whom you befriend and your friends are a reflection of you. Feel and show them respect. Its not a flaw in your make-up. So I started, slowly, reducing night time exposure to artificial light by making a few sleep hygiene changes. how to soften an intense personality To harness that, when dealing with an intense person, dont compete with that or try to tamp it down. You tend to be clingy with your closest relationships. Some people may feel uncomfortable in social circumstances. It might come from a place of wanting to make a deeper connection with you or be a sign that they value your advice. Ever. Besides, you don't want to get on their bad side. There are times when we need to close the door on relationships with people who cross our boundaries, affront our values, no longer respect or love us, or no longer enrich our lives. To me the message became: keep you under wraps. This heightened level of attention and commitment can only last so long before it before becomes smothering or just simply burns itself out. I view junk food (which includes all processed and nutrient-devoid foods) as rubbish and not as real food so it wouldnt cross my mind to eat it. It wasnt at all the fault of the PTs or the gyms - it was me overdoing it and overtaxing my already overtaxed muscles. Learn one anothers love language. Intense is often a word that often comes up when describing children. 19. If you feel overwhelmed by the conversations you are having, its ok, theres no need to get serious all the time and discuss topics youre uncomfortable with. I havent done interval training in years now, and guess what, even though there are parts of me that really miss it, I am gentle enough with myself now to know that at this stage of my life it just aint gonna work with what I have on my plate, and that I can function well without it, and look and feel great if I get in some stretching, fascia release and walking on a regularish basis. I was deeply unhappythen I discovered this one Buddhist teaching, How a regular guy became his own life coach (and how you can too), What J.K Rowling can teach us about mental toughness, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life, 11 traits people with big hearts all share, 10 things socially intelligent people always do, 10 personality traits of a bad boy all women secretly find irresistible, 10 signs youre a happy person who finds joy in everyday life, Are you an old soul? Unwittingly, through these soft lights, my nervous system started softening as I started getting used to this visual softness. Our ancestors honoured the rhythm of nature and the daily cycle of rising with the sun and sleeping with the sun. This means that you dont waste time on people who dont get you and you wont wait around for someone to realize your awesomeness. If you know someone like this, remind them to take a breath once in a while and dont feel the need to keep pace with them, whatever works for you is just fine. They simply can't control themselves any more than a laid-back person can make themselves driven. A simple conversation about the weather turns to a deep conversation on global warming, and a chat about a new job turns into a re-evaluation of their entire life. Youre a sucker for an epic romance, and you want one of your own. Your whole personality feels more aggressive to them or at least noisier. It requires a firm to resolve and get to the finish line when things get rough. 15 Best Personality Development Activities for Students, 13 Personality Traits of a Horrible Employee | Learnizia, How Does Personality Influence Leadership Style | Learnizia. You cant help but become more gentle, softer and connected with yourself when you connect with mother nature. As long as you arent acting in a disruptive or threatening manner (which does require adjustments), youre not necessarily looking to change. You may ask about kids and marriage on a first date even before the waiter brings drinks to the table. And they dont see a point in even trying to. I used to be obsessed with having a flat stomach, a thigh gap, measuring the circumference of my inner thighs and being ridiculously thin (to the point of losing my period). This isnt necessarily a bad thing; its healthy to be able to access your emotions. Some people just cant lose an argument, and being on the other side of that can be seriously intense. 15 signs you have a wise and mature personality, The one trait that makes you the perfect partner (according to science). Marty Nemko, Ph.D., is a career and personal coach based in Oakland, California, and the author of 10 books. My skin is glowing like never before and my kids are so much more chilled out. Softening into nutrition means that I certainly dont ever punish myself through starvation, or skimping on meals or gorging myself until I feel sick. If thats interval training, then awesome. A group of psychologists at the University of Cambridge say that your preference in cognitive style is inextricably linked to your taste in music. Youre careful about whom you let into your life. They had replaced most of the blue light bulbs in their house with amber light globes, put special blue light blocking filters on all their screens and the very minute the sun goes down they would put on their blue blocking amber glasses (blue blockers). Im talking about when someone gets serious all the time. Most people have heard of co-dependency, which normally refers to a dysfunctional and enmeshed relationship between two people, where one person is overly responsible for the others emotional world, creating a merger between the two psyches. And they can not use sense even trying. They are keenly aware of their internal world and often have a running mental dialogue with obsessive thought patterns. Here are a few things you might be wondering: 5: Show care and love for them despite their problematic, Interacting with a soft-spoken, calm, and a collected person can be challenging. Even a cursory perusal of social media streams and print media clearly show that more and more woman today are embracing, or wanting to embrace, their femininity, and take a gentler, softer approach. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter. 3. Softening into nutrition means that as much as I try to avoid gluten (even though I dont have the celiac gene), the occasional consumption of smallish amounts of sourdough bread is not something that I now flinch over at all (and I can tell you that there was a time at the start of my traditional wholefoods journey when for 2 solid years not a single grain ever passed my lips). Here are four things people say that annoy intense people. Thats self-sabotage, not softening into nutrition. 4: Engage them in the discussion, such as, What is your advice in this matter?. You wear your heart on your sleeve. Food is not just a source of nourishment and energy, it is also very much a source of pleasure. Being intense may just be in your nature. Heck, I might need chocolate (the best quality raw dark chocolate of course rather than the cheap crappy variety). What you do know is you absolutely hate it when others tell you to lighten up or calm down or chill.. In place of relationships that no longer serve me, I have sought out and befriended people who add so much love and value to my life. Intensity is all about emotion, and if you feel that someone is too intense, then youre probably uncomfortable with how emotionally open they are. I used to think my friends who were all into blue blocking glasses and amber lights were too OTT. Just make sure they arent so caught up in their own emotions that they lose touch with reality. Pearl Nash And you have better uses for your energy. And when others make assumptions without knowing the facts, you feel a deep and instant outrage. allen campbell chef salary. My intensity is who I am. Its so easy to get swept up in the whirlwind of it all that you could miss the signs that things are too intense. When you speak your mind you are capable of achieving those goals and that makes people pretty uncomfortable; especially when they are comparing themselves to you and your amazing self. I guess what each of these 10 points have in common is this: they are all guiding us to live a life that more closely resembles how we are designed to live. It becomes unhealthy when your opponent cant appreciate any other view than their own. Nah, youd rather read a book from Confucius or Buddha on what it means to live a life of purpose. So when people make judgments without knowing the facts, it irks you to your core. Looking back, I spent most of my time when I was training in that way in a state of acute neck and shoulder pain. It can also affect their mental health. Softening into nutrition means that I dont beat myself up if I overeat nutritious food on occasion. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50. This can be intimidating to some people because you wont be manipulated by what appears on the outside. As with all things personality-based, it may feel tough to dig deeper and figure out why you act a certain way. I know that you can make an animal or human insulin resistant simply by sleep depriving it, without changing its diet at all. The Art of Softening (and the 10 ways that I have softened) Although being so in tune with their emotions can help Pisces relate to others, their emotions can sometimes get the better of them, causing them to be overly emotional and even moody. You close up, and harden, to protect yourself. Spending time with someone can become too intense when you arent spending enough time away from them. 16. And even fewer people want to face that. 17. You like consistency or, rather, you expect it. Growing up, most of us heard adults talk about the right way to communicate and express ourselves. Do not exercise out of fear of what may happen if you dont do it. Or how many reminded you of someone you know and love? It could be with a person, activity, or a cause, but theres usually something they are fanatical about. Ignore their bad manners, just pay attention to the special points in their speech. You resent anyone telling you what you should or shouldnt be interested in. If you show them respect and make a point to listen, youll often see a softer side. Sometimes, intense personalities can be a little rough around the edges, but passion fuels many of them. 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